Final Destination 5…*Facepalms*

10 08 2011

Final Destination 5 opens in two days. I’ve never been a fan of this franchise, I’ve only ever seen the first one and I have no plans on seeing this one either. The words Final Destination is something that I NEVER would have imagined be placed side by side with the word “franchise”.

I feel ya, Piccolo.

I mean, let’s face it, it’s the same plot over and over and over again. It pretty much feels like the opening of the first Naked Gun, when OJ Simpson stumbles his way off the ship.

Having developed a fear of flying at some point in my life, after seeing the first Final Destination, it cemented that fear forever (which makes me hate the whole “franchise” even more).

I digress. That’s not why I’m here.

The trailer just on the air and one death in particular caught my eye. One of the dude is getting acupuncture, the bed’s leg gives way, he rolls over and (presumably) dies from all the acupuncture needles poking into him.

Oh, I’m sorry. *Spoiler Alert!* Actually, I take that back. Just watch the trailer and you’ll see most of them.

His death wasn’t the thing that got me. I mean, even though the needles they use in acupuncture are unlikely to cause DEATH if you fell on them, that wasn’t what got me bitchin’.  It was the acupuncturist. I think she personifies the term “ching-chong”. Unless that’s actually the Chinese pirate from Pirates of the Caribbean 3.

I guess after the giant-ass ship battle, she left her life of piracy to persue something a bit more meaningful. Took a few night courses, invested her ill-gotten doubloons to open up a shop. Good for her. Then this stupid bastard walks into her place and fucks everything up on her. Now she’s going to have to hire a pretty damn good lawyer to beat all the impending lawsuits off. Wait. That came out wrong. *ahem*

Sail on, Ching-chong!

Despite the stupidness, they were smart enough to cast the very delectable Nicholas D'Agosto (left) in it.


Samurai Sentai Shinkenger! Appare!

9 08 2011

So my last post about Power Rangers Samurai prompted me to revisit the series that it’s based on, Super Sentai Series’ Samurai Sentai Shinkengers (侍戦隊シンケンジャー).

After watching bits and pieces of it again, it dawned on me that this cast is (overall) the best looking cast out of all the series. Hell, I even think the girls are cute! So that says something about this ensemble. haha

Sentai series usually cast young, good looking and cute idol types. But there’s always one person that ends up fugging everything up. If not the original 5 members, then usually the 6th member that joins midway through the series.

Surprisingly, this was not the case with Shinkengers. When Shinkengold joined, he didn’t muck up the pretty.

The proof is in the pudding, as they say. So here they are.

Samurai Sentai Shinkenger (侍戦隊シンケンジャー)

Suzuki Shōgo (鈴木 勝吾) as ShinkenGreen

Matsuzaka Tori (松坂 桃李) as ShinkenRed

Aiba Hiroki (相葉 弘樹) as ShinkenBlue

ShinkenBlue & ShinkenGold

Soma Keisuke (相馬 圭祐) as ShinkenGold with ShinkenGreen

相馬 圭祐 (Gold) had many pictures of himself pressing against the window like that...perhaps it's his version of PLANKING?.


相馬 圭祐 (Gold) also had a lot of pictures of his cats...

Porno Rangers Samurai?

6 08 2011

I was channel surfing just now and caught the last few minutes of Saban’s Power Rangers Samurai and something dawned on me.

Watching Power Rangers is a bit like watching porn. It’s unfortunate you can’t fast-forward live TV because you’re only watching the show so you can get to the good bits: when they morph and get into giant robots to fight monsters.

Their “acting” is on par with porn stars. It’s uncomfortable to watch, awkward and stiff (no pun intended). But hey, I guess it’s something to look at until they cut to the Japanese footage. lol

I love me some giant monsters getting their arses kicked by stuntmen in bright colourful costumes. But I think I’ll stick to fan-subs of the Japanese shows Power Rangers are based on, thank you very much.


Seriously, do they not look like they belong on Sean Cody or Corbin Fisher?

Wizards of Waverly S4E13: Meet the (Smelly Smelly) Werewolves

22 06 2011

Okay, so it’s my shameful secret (which I’m blogging about) that I’m a fan of Wizards of Waverly Place. I don’t really remember how I started watching it, but I’m guessing channel surfing should take the blame for this. I was just so surprised when I realized I sat through an entire episode and it didn’t make me wanna leap up to change the channel or put a fist through the screen.

The show’s been running for three seasons and this current fourth season will be its last. Unlike all the other Disney/Nickelodeon tween-coms out there, the writing on this show is pretty decent, the kid/tween stars can ACT and they don’t dial up the stupid.

I’ve been waiting with baited breath for the show to return since May and the new episode, Meet the Werewolves, finally aired a couple of days ago. I gotta say…I was pretty disappointed.

The show initially started out with a cast of 6: Jerry and Theresa Russo, their 3 kids (Max, Alex and Justin) and Harper, Alex’s BFF. (I can’t believe I just typed BFF.)

As the show progressed, the cast grew a bit larger. Justin’s friend Zeke (actor Dan Benson) became Harper’s boyfriend and Mason (actor Gregg Sulkin) the werewolf was brought in as a love interest for Alex.

Now I gotta be honest, it took a while for Zeke to grow on me. At first he felt like a Disney-com tween: a lot of overacting and a lot of shouting…then I finally understood that the character is just SO! EASILY! EXCITED! ABOUT! EVERYTHING! and that garnered a few chuckles out of me. An absolutely mental character.

The opposite has happened with Mason. He started out as a pretty low-key character but in the new episode, he totally Disney’d out. He literally turned into one of those Zack & Cody gits. I just don’t understand what happened in between the break. It’s like someone just said, “Let’s dial up the stupid! The show’s finishing anyway! WHO GIVES A SHIT!?”.

I hope it’ll get better before the series ends.

Inappropriate skin quota met:

The guys of Waverly

Same guys of Waverly