Crap Pun Review: Red is the New Gray
I had my doubts when I first heard about this movie. I figured this would be a Space Cowboy for the government conspiracy/action-comedy flick genre.
Boy, was I wrong. Well, sorta.
Essentially, the flick’s about oldies kicking the arses of everybody younger than them (well, mostly Karl Urban’s arse), with the obligatory twist at the end.
Red = “Retired, Extremely Dangerous.” It’s what it says on the tin, strap in and enjoy the ride.
If you haven’t seen it already, give the movie a spin!! It’s definitely worth an hour and a half of your day!
Details and skin after the jump.
What I liked:
– Helen Mirren shooting guns in an evening gown. HAWT.
– Helen Mirren throat chopping some dude with her classy purse.
– Helen Mirren doing ANYTHING in the movie.
– The chemistry between the cast. It seems like everyone was having a good time. And getting a fat paycheque to boot.
– John Malkovich being generally nutty.
– Morgan Freeman’s French accent.
– Postcard scene wipes.
– Gun vs. bazooka sequence and homerunning a grenade by Malkovich.
– Karl Urban getting his arse completely handed to him by Bruce Willis.
– “Open the pig!” (Just watch it.)
What I loathed:
– Using Toronto to sub for Chicago and everywhere else. Being a Toronto native, it really took me out of the movie.
– “Kickass” music cues when there’s no need to. Yes, Bruce Willis just took down a hit squad and blew up his house. We get he’s bad. No need for the cockrock.
– The ridiculous shot of Willis stepping out of the cop car as it spins out of frame.
– Willis’ whisper acting. It was like he’s been taking lessons from Nicole Kidman. We had to turn the subtitles on because we couldn’t hear a damn thing whenever he spoke.
– Richard Dreyfuss’ annoying villain voice.
– Not nearly enough Helen Mirren.
What I’m Not Sure About:
– The lack of plot and the obligatory twist thrown in for good measure.
In short: Get a nice hot cup of tea, put your feet up and have a grand ol’ time!
Karl Urban in his Xena days. Grrrrrrr!
Nerd or Geek? 