Gobble Gobble!

10 10 2011

I know I haven’t posted in a while, but I’ll be back. I swears it!
Happy Turkey Day, Canadians!


Space Battleship Yamato: The Review

1 09 2011

Crap Pun Review: Hop Aboard the Space Battlestar Yamato!

Okay, so it’s been a while since I’ve posted…I’m sure all one of you has been waiting for my update with baited breath.

Lots to cover, more to come.

Space Battleship Yamato is the live action adaptation of the 70’s sci-fi anime of the same name. Those of you from North America may know the show as Star Blazers.

Ive actually been waiting to see this one as soon as I found out that a live action movie version is coming out.

The plot of the movie is pretty similar to the show: Earth has been decimated by aliens, mankind is on the brink of extinction, a solution is provided by other aliens and humankind’s last hope is placed on the crew of the Space Battleship Yamato to get to said aliens. Hijinks ensue. It’s a pretty straightforward plot. I just didn’t expect it to be two hours plus.

If you haven’t seen this, it’s definitely worth a look. Just don’t expect too much depth plotwise


What I liked:

– it’s fun and nostalgic (I was on the edge of my seat the first time they primed the Wave Cannon)

– recreated anime characters in real life without looking silly

– fantastic looking SFX/space battles and high production values

– adapting the look of the anime as only the Japanese can (Hollywood should take notes)

– the aliens corking (literally) the ship’s main cannon with a giant plug

– having the shit completely and utterly kicked out of them after they return from their successful mission


What I loathed:

– it looks like they bought the sets  from the Battlestar Galactica reboot

– aliens with Dune eyes

– biting the BSG drop onto a planet

– generic Japanese melodramatic ending

– biting the ID4 surprise attack scene

– making the villains totally alien instead of just blue humanoids

– he movie crapping out in the last twenty minutes

– using a Steve Tyler song instead of the awesome theme song from the 70’s

(The original and much more dramatic song)


In short: Much like Tron Legacy, it’s very easy on the eyes, but utlimately lacks substance.

Meta Morphing Power Rangers

15 08 2011

I stumbled upon this video through a YouTube recommendation and felt a bit odd and amused after seeing this.

Here’s why:

It is the opening for the Japanese dub of Mighty Morphing Power Rangers. Which for those in the know, is actually based on the Japanese show: Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger (恐竜戦隊ジュウレンジャー).

Here’s where the meta-ness comes in.

In Power Rangers, they reused clips from the original version and dubbed brand new English dialogue onto it. The recycled clips starred Japanese actress Machiko Soga (曽我 町子) as Witch Bandora (Rita Repulsa in the English version).

When they decided to show Power Rangers in Japan, they had to redub the whole show. They ended up getting Machiko Soga to come in to record Japanese dialogue (presumably) translated from the English version for Rita Repulsa which is actually played by herself, twice removed.

Okay. I’m starting to smell burnt toast. I’d best leave it at that.

We miss you, Machiko Soga, Queen of Tokusatsu!!



Final Destination 5…*Facepalms*

10 08 2011

Final Destination 5 opens in two days. I’ve never been a fan of this franchise, I’ve only ever seen the first one and I have no plans on seeing this one either. The words Final Destination is something that I NEVER would have imagined be placed side by side with the word “franchise”.

I feel ya, Piccolo.

I mean, let’s face it, it’s the same plot over and over and over again. It pretty much feels like the opening of the first Naked Gun, when OJ Simpson stumbles his way off the ship.

Having developed a fear of flying at some point in my life, after seeing the first Final Destination, it cemented that fear forever (which makes me hate the whole “franchise” even more).

I digress. That’s not why I’m here.

The trailer just on the air and one death in particular caught my eye. One of the dude is getting acupuncture, the bed’s leg gives way, he rolls over and (presumably) dies from all the acupuncture needles poking into him.

Oh, I’m sorry. *Spoiler Alert!* Actually, I take that back. Just watch the trailer and you’ll see most of them.

His death wasn’t the thing that got me. I mean, even though the needles they use in acupuncture are unlikely to cause DEATH if you fell on them, that wasn’t what got me bitchin’.  It was the acupuncturist. I think she personifies the term “ching-chong”. Unless that’s actually the Chinese pirate from Pirates of the Caribbean 3.

I guess after the giant-ass ship battle, she left her life of piracy to persue something a bit more meaningful. Took a few night courses, invested her ill-gotten doubloons to open up a shop. Good for her. Then this stupid bastard walks into her place and fucks everything up on her. Now she’s going to have to hire a pretty damn good lawyer to beat all the impending lawsuits off. Wait. That came out wrong. *ahem*

Sail on, Ching-chong!

Despite the stupidness, they were smart enough to cast the very delectable Nicholas D'Agosto (left) in it.

Samurai Sentai Shinkenger! Appare!

9 08 2011

So my last post about Power Rangers Samurai prompted me to revisit the series that it’s based on, Super Sentai Series’ Samurai Sentai Shinkengers (侍戦隊シンケンジャー).

After watching bits and pieces of it again, it dawned on me that this cast is (overall) the best looking cast out of all the series. Hell, I even think the girls are cute! So that says something about this ensemble. haha

Sentai series usually cast young, good looking and cute idol types. But there’s always one person that ends up fugging everything up. If not the original 5 members, then usually the 6th member that joins midway through the series.

Surprisingly, this was not the case with Shinkengers. When Shinkengold joined, he didn’t muck up the pretty.

The proof is in the pudding, as they say. So here they are.

Samurai Sentai Shinkenger (侍戦隊シンケンジャー)

Suzuki Shōgo (鈴木 勝吾) as ShinkenGreen

Matsuzaka Tori (松坂 桃李) as ShinkenRed

Aiba Hiroki (相葉 弘樹) as ShinkenBlue

ShinkenBlue & ShinkenGold

Soma Keisuke (相馬 圭祐) as ShinkenGold with ShinkenGreen

相馬 圭祐 (Gold) had many pictures of himself pressing against the window like that...perhaps it's his version of PLANKING?.


相馬 圭祐 (Gold) also had a lot of pictures of his cats...

Porno Rangers Samurai?

6 08 2011

I was channel surfing just now and caught the last few minutes of Saban’s Power Rangers Samurai and something dawned on me.

Watching Power Rangers is a bit like watching porn. It’s unfortunate you can’t fast-forward live TV because you’re only watching the show so you can get to the good bits: when they morph and get into giant robots to fight monsters.

Their “acting” is on par with porn stars. It’s uncomfortable to watch, awkward and stiff (no pun intended). But hey, I guess it’s something to look at until they cut to the Japanese footage. lol

I love me some giant monsters getting their arses kicked by stuntmen in bright colourful costumes. But I think I’ll stick to fan-subs of the Japanese shows Power Rangers are based on, thank you very much.


Seriously, do they not look like they belong on Sean Cody or Corbin Fisher?

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Review

6 08 2011

Shit Pun Review: This is One Diary You Might Want to Keep Locked

Diary of a Shitty Dickhead, more like. Okay, that was a bit harsh. But stay with me. It’ll get better.

Based on the popular series of children’s book by Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid follows the highjinks of Gregory Heffley as he traverses through the hell that is middle-school…or junior high…depending where you’re from.

I don’t know about the rest of youse, but for one reason or another, all the Canadian schools I attended did NOT include this middle-school business. I stayed in the same school until Grade 8 before moving on to a proper high school.

I digress.

I’m assuming they’ve taken some liberties in adapting this book into a movie, because I honestly can’t fathom how a child so unlikeable as Greg can attract readers for so long.

We’ll get into that later.

The film’s your typical “year in the life” of the main character, the flick starts with the beginning of school and ends at the end of the school term. Lessons are learned, friends are made, kids are humiliated. The end. I have to give this flick some props, though. I’m usually not one to check out a kid movie because the current studio affairs are so trite it’s rather annoying. But the bits they showed in the trailer actually got quite a few laughs out of me. That’s why I decided to check this flick out.

While the main character is a bit of a shit, the actor that portrayed him, Zachary Gordon, was quite good. I guess I just expect Disney-esque “acting” whenever I see a film aimed at the younger market. You know, where they just mug and overact to no end. Devon Bostick plays Greg’s older brother Rodrick and the two really sells the brotherly ‘love’. But the reason why I was able to sit through this movie was not because of those two. The real charmer of this movie is Robert Capron as Greg’s best friend Rowley. A sweet, innocent kid who manages to fight off Greg’s ‘makeover’ when Rowley was deemed not ‘cool’ by Greg.

I couldn’t really understand why this movie isn’t about Rowley, because he deserves the title of wimpy kid a lot more than Greg.

If you haven’t seen this, I advise caution. It’s not a bad watch, as long as you know what you’re in for.


What I liked:

All the child actors that were in the movie. They all had their moment to shine. Aside from Rowley, I especially liked Grayson Russell as Fregley, the weirdo ginger kid.

– There were genuine laugh-out-loud sequences…Greg passing out from touching a booger tainted note.

– Rowley becoming more popular than Greg because of all the shitty things Greg did to him

– Music cues that cater to the parents. Using Total Eclipse of the Heart as the audition song for the school musical? COME ON!

(Sorry, this is the best quality I can find of the scene.)


What I loathed:

– It felt like there was no solid story, a series of sequences strung together for 90 minutes.

– Greg is such an absolutely dick of a kid who doesn’t see the error of his way even when it smacks him in the face.

– Characters repeatedly tells you that what people think of you isn’t important. But nobody seems to be heeding that advice.

– Greg is a horrible role model for kids to be identifying with.

– Movie parents never seem to understand situations that would be easily resolved with a good slap in the face.


What I’m Not Sure About:

– It’s oddly homoerotic; from the shirts & skins game, the wrestling, Greg & Rowley’s relationship is played out as that of a couple

– Steve Zahn is now the “dad”…I STILL don’t know how I feel about that.

In short: Don’t show this to young kids. Watch it yourself if you’re inclined to a few laughs and not mind a shitty kid as the main character.

DEFINITELY not from the movie.

Another for the road.